A Tuned In Day

I love days like today. Today I felt really in-tune with my baby. When we got up at 9am she was wet, we moved into the lounge room and I offered her the potty, she did a wee and then I wiped and put a fresh nappy on her. Then we had breakfast, got dressed and headed out for the day at 10am.

Almost all of todays EC catches were based on the timing method. Whenever she woke up from a sleep I would take her to a toilet and she would wee into it. Or if we had been walking for a while (which means her sitting in her sling for a while) I would make a toilet stop for her and catch again. None of todays catches were based on her signals - I am still feeling lost when it comes to signals at the moment. But the really cool thing that happened today was I made an instinctual catch.

I was in a book store and I took bub out of her sling to let her crawl around for a little while, as I took her out I said "I bet you're wet" and felt her nappy and I swear it was wet. So off we went to the toilet, only when we got there I discovered I had totally hallucinated the wet nappy! She was dry as could be. I offered her the toilet and caught another wee. We were both smiling and I wondered what it was that made me think she was wet/needed to go?

From before 10am until 4pm today my baby wore the one clean and dry cloth nappy! Just like underpants.

Just What I Needed To Hear...

Thank-you to one of the women at Nappy Free Babes on Ravelry for sharing this quote from Diaper Free! by Ingrid Bauer:

“Your baby needs to be in close contact with you, to have your attention and be responded to. But if catching every pee becomes an obsession, you may be missing the point and the sweetness of this practice and the relationship. It’s important to remember that this is just one way of meeting your baby’s needs and not an outcome-based reflection of your parenting. A strong relationship, not a perfect track record, is the goal.

If you recognize yourself in this position, the most helpful thing to do is to take a step back and detach. No matter how hard it seems. Breathe. Try to bring your attention to being present for your baby. Focus on the relationship, not on the outcome. If necessary, take a short break from Elimination Communication. Trust your child in her process. Try to let go of all emotional charge to her actions. Expect that she wants to and is doing her very best. Don’t praise her excessively if she goes, and don’t make her wrong if she doesn’t. Deal with accidents completely calmly and neutrally. Pee your baby if you think she needs to, but immediately respect and signs of a “No.” Try again later, and always respect the “No.”

And, here’s the ultimate and ongoing parenting lesson: Reach for that place deep inside where you can let go of any desire to control your child or what happens. That’s when you can truly be in the moment and respond.”

Beautifully said!

And this reminder could not have come at a better time as we are facing the big developmental stages of teething and crawling, the offset of which is far more misses than when she was younger and more obvious in her communication about elimination.

6 Months Old & Using The Potty

Our daughter did a wee and a poo in the potty today. Not a big deal given that we have caught plenty of wee and poo of hers in the potty before. The big deal is that today she sat on the potty and did a wee.

Recently I've noticed she's been getting a bit heavy for me to hold patiently and calmly over bowls and sinks for too long. So this week while staying with friends who have two tots, one who uses a potty, we started trying out sitting on the potty.

I lower her onto the potty, still supporting her thighs in my hands, then let her rest her weight on the potty, with my hands gently touching her underneath her thighs, so if she needs help I'm right there. She eliminates, and then starts kicking her legs out and moving as if she wants to stand up. This is her way of letting me know she's done. I lift her back off the potty, wipe, and dress her again.

My friend's 23 month old actually brought the potty to us when he saw me taking off my daughter's nappy. And she pooped with two tots standing by, smiling at her and excitedly observing "baby potty" and "baby weeing, baby pooing".

In other news she cut her first tooth on Saturday! And she has now moved on to trying to crawl (complete with her 23 month old friend cheering "come on!")

Some Folk Read On The Toilet, Others....

Eat their socks!

Impressed with the multi-tasking? ECing a babe in one hand, photographing it with the other :)

Understanding Her Language

We have had such good communication today! So far we've only missed one, which I knew was going to happen because I recognised her signals, but she was in the wrap, almost asleep, and I was dashing down the street, so I let it go and changed her when we got a chance.

What was really amazing about today was how clearly I could understand what she was telling me. When we got home she needed to wee. She was tensing her legs, arching her back so she was like a stiff little board and she was making frustrated little moans at me. I held her over her EC tub and caught a wee, then wiped her and lied her down in front of me for a play. As I lied her down she moaned at me in a way that was so obvious it was as if she had opened her mouth and said "I'm not done Mama" in plain English! So I picked her up again and held her over her tub and bang caught another one. This happened a few more times. This afternoon she's been doing lots of little wees every ten or fifteen minutes.

She will still go when she needs to if I don't respond quickly enough to her communication these days, but she prefers to be held over her tub, or a sink or bowl or toilet. She will tense and squeal (she has a squeal she does with her mouth shut that general means "EC time!") and as soon as we hold her in position over her tub she relaxes and goes (and usually has a little chat to us while she is going, cute little baby sounds that mean "aaah that's better." and "I doin'k a wee".

And we have replaced our old catching bowl with the tupperwear at home as well as when we are on the go. But I plan to give our review of the catching items a post of its own later.

EC Travel Kit

Until today whenever our bub has needed to wee or poo while we're out and about we have taken her to a toilet, or held her over some grass. This system meant that at my first mother's group meet I kept having to get up and leave the group to take bubs to the toilet. But today, for some reason, I remembered seeing something about a travel kit on another EC website, but I can't remember exactly where. So I created my own.

My EC kit is very simple: 1 medium to large container for the catches, 1 (or 2) smaller containers to store the wee catches until you find a toilet, and a face washer for wiping.

I have been using this system for three hours and it has been fantastic! Today at mother's group I sat on the floor with my bub and neither of us missed a single minute of discussion. When I spotted a cue I put the large container under her and caught her wee, wiped her, poured the wee out of the bigger container into one of the small one's and sealed the small one shut and give the big container a quick wipe too. At the end of the group meet (after about three or four wees) I tipped the contents of the small container into the toilet and flushed, rinsed both containers with water, dried with a face washer and put the tupperwear back in my bag.

If I were walking around and couldn't tip the contents down a toilet immediately I could seal the small container, put it inside the big container and seal that too, put it in my bag and forget about it until we were near a toilet.

Not only was it super convenient, it was a great way of naturally introducing my new acquaintances to elimination communication.

Q & A with R&A

I received a comment from R&A asking some questions about EC that I thought I'd answer in a post of its own rather than tacking onto the comments section of another post. This way more readers can benefit from our discussion as opposed to just those subscribed to one post :)

What did you dress your baby in? I'll have mine in August so I'm thinking we'll just do naked/loose swaddle for the first while, while we learn baby's cues. After that we could wear diapers or naked-in-sling if I can watch for cues and then remove it quickly.

We didn't begin ECing until she was 7 weeks old, in the early days we didn't feel confident adding yet another new thing to the list of skills we needed to learn, so we just had our baby in infant sized all-in-one cloth nappies. Next baby I think we will start from birth because I think it will be much easier to learn her cues then rather than later. An ECing friend of mine did begin from birth and she would have her bub nappy free on a nappy and that's how they did their early catches.

Our bub is not actually nappy free, although she has lots of nappy free time. We use cloth nappies like underwear. You can actually buy baby sized undies made especially for ECers, but we already had nappies so we didn't bother with another expense. Like you said, we have her in a nappy which we pull off when we see a cue and put back on after a catch and a wipe. But we are also having her in nappies in her slings mainly because we use them so much that we can't risk having more than one in the wash at a time. And I've noticed that our baby doesn't like to wake up to get out of her sling to do a wee, she will squirm and if we take her out of the sling to catch she wakes up very upset with us, so we let the sleepy sling one go :)

If you do decide to have your baby in nappies for underwear make sure you use cloth rather than disposable because you will notice wetness far quicker in cloth than disposable and you want your baby to be familiar with that wet feeling so she will let you know when she feels it and you can change her. This way she learns that having poo and wee in your pants isn't something normal that she has to put up with :)

While on the subject of nappies, I should mention that we no longer use all-in-one's or put covers over her bamboo and hemp clothies. The reason being that we wouldn't realise immediately if we had missed a wee or poo when she was in covers or the all-in-one's. Other than that, when buying nappies just make sure you feel they could come off and on fairly quickly. I don't know much about all the nappies there are in the world, ours have press studs on them, and the newborn ones had velcro.

As for clothing avoid jumpsuits with long legs and feet, they are too hard to get off and on for an ECer (actually, even when we weren't ECing they were bloody hard work!). Our baby mainly wears jumpsuits that have press studs at the croutch that we leave undone, although we could do them up because her cues give us enough time to undo three press studs, pull of a nappy and get her over the bowl.

The best clothing in my opinion are shirts, coupled with baby sized leg warmers and socks and booties during the cold weather. Dresses also work well. Presently we don't have a lot of EC friendly baby clothes, except for a few items the lovely April made us, so we tend to half dress bub in the stuff we do have (eg with full length jumpsuits, we put her arms in and do up the first few studs, but leave the legs dangling undone behind her back).

There are places that make baby clothes especially for ECing families. Check out these links:
http://www.theecstore.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=170
http://www.tribalbaby.org/ECClothing.html
http://www.thepottyshop.com.au/potty-bowls-clothing-and-other-items.php

And what about nighttimes? (what to wear) - did you use a bowl for nighttimes or just keep changing a dry towel?

ECing wouldn't be possible throughout the night without the family sharing a bed, but you'd probably already figured that out. During the night she is dressed exactly the same as during the day, we do still use the bowl for night time catches, but we find that she doesn't eliminate much, if at all, during the night.

We do sleep on a towel or blanket, but not because of ECing, because of my bountiful breasts which tend to soak the mattress overnight.

Sometimes I don't wake up fast enough to make a catch, but will change the nappy for her comfort. Most of the time her squirming stirs me and I wake up to find a little bub giving me signals and I make a catch with my eyes still half shut and in the morning I wonder if I dreamed it.

How did you do it while using a baby carrier? Just watch for cues and pop her out?

Yep. Our baby generally sleeps in her baby carriers though, so she doesn't often eliminate in them, and the times when she does she is usually still asleep so I don't pull her out because it's more important to me that she have a rest and be peaceful in her slings than it is to whip her out and make a catch. I learned that the hard way! I used to pull her out for the catches when she'd squirm, but she'd be so unhappy about it!

When she is awake in her carriers we watch for cues, generally they take the form of her trying to stand up, or pushing her feet against the carrier. And then we'd pull her out, hold her over the catching bowl, make a catch and then pop her back in her carrier.

Am I thinking along the right lines?

You sure are. As long as you are thinking "I am going to listen to my baby and try to understand what she is telling me" you are thinking along the right lines (not just for ECing!). Don't get caught up in counting the misses, go by the motto "communication is the goal, not perfection". Misses are successes too because they help you become that little bit more familiar with your bub - I found so many times I'd miss a wee or poo and realise that I had been wondering if she was about to eliminate just before she did! So even though technically those were misses, they were also successes.

Don't beat yourself up if you are feeling like you struggle to understand your baby, it doesn't mean you are less of a mother, and every mother feels that way at some point. Remember that communication is a never ending process, some days you will be better at it than others and the same goes for your bub.

You will have days where you feel inspired and ECing is lots of fun, but you will also have low energy days when you'll think yourself mad for not going the mainstream route. On those days come here and re-read, and check out the websites linked to the right, and they will help re-motivate you. I found that on the one day when I thought about giving up reading the tribal baby website was all I needed to pick myself up.

All these answers are specific to my family, what suits us and our baby's persoanlity. You will find all the practicalities will sort themselves out to fit into what is best for you and your family. ECing really is simply a matter of knowing and listening your bub :)

Relaxing

The second most important part of the ECing process is relaxing (the first is communication, it's all in the name :D). I've noticed that our baby can't wee or poo unless she is relaxed. This is why quite often she wees during a feed, or cries if we offer her the potty straight after she's woken up if she hasn't eaten yet.

Tonight we knew that she needed to wee but as her Dad held her over the catching bowl she wouldn't wee. We waited patiently and spoke softly to her about needing to wee, occasionally we made her cue sound "ssss". Eventually she did an enormous burp and then the wee came shooting out. She was obviously waiting until the discomfort of wind passed before letting her lower body relax into doing a wee. Having observed that I feel that I know her a little better than I did before.

I think the element of relaxation (no doubt coupled with communication) makes EC such a gentle parenting choice. My daughter is on a very different, and much more pleasant, journey toward toileting independence than my own.

Another Dad Moment ECing

Today Dad made his first catch outside the home! We were shopping with bub sleeping in her wrap. When she woke up we took her out of the wrap and headed for the toilets. I handed bub to her Dad so that I could go do my own business, and Dad made caught a wee in the little child's toilet in the parents room :)

What did Dad have to say about it?:

It was very exciting. And kind of cool that she is comfortable enough with us that she can relax in a public place with fluorescent lights.

Congratulations team EC!

Our Little Master of Communications

I was wearing bub in a pouch yesterday and worrying that she wouldn't be able to let me know when she needed to eliminate because she's so snug (ie she couldn't push her legs out as she does). I decided to put aside my worry and if we missed a catch so be it, we were all happy having her in her pouch for the moment. Of course she had no trouble letting me know when it was time to get out of the pouch and over the catching bowl. When she couldn't kick her legs out she squirmed as much as she could and cried at me until I got the message (which wasn't very long!). I took her out of the pouch, held her over the bowl and immediately she did a wee in the bowl. Beautiful work, team.

After the catch I explained to her Dad that I had had nothing to fear, she was perfectly capable of letting me know it was time for the potty. And his response cracked me up. He said to bub:

"Nine weeks old and you're already a better communicator than your father!"

Wee & Poothropologist

For the last seventy-two hours I've been making elimination notes :) Every time our bub poos or wees I jot down what time it is and what she was doing just before she went. I decided upon this note taking approach the other day when I was feeling done about not feeling connected enough to her, and feeling like we were making very little progress in improving our communication.

It was the best idea I ever had. Within about twenty four hours I was fairly confident I recognised her elimination cues, and after forty eight hours I realised I had reached the point where I only missed catching a wee if I was asleep. And even though counting catches and misses in not the point of ECing, keeping track of them has helped me realise that we are developing well. The whole note taking experience has filled me with confidence and made ECing a lot more enjoyable.

Here are what my notes look like:

Elimination Record

April 16 Wednesday

13:50 WEE immediately after coming of the wrap after a sleep in it (about an hours sleep) (caught)

After 14:00 WEE while cuddling (missed)

Between 14:00 and 15:30 WEE while feeding (missed)

Before 15:30 POO (missed)

Before 16:30 and after 15:30 WEE while sleeping (missed)

16:30 WEE while feeding (missed)

16:45 POO while feeding frustration, crying, spurt, stopped feeding, boob still un mouth looking up at me concerned, second spurt, calm, Back to feeding, (caught)

16:53 POO was feeding, pulls off, squirming, concerned look, hold over potty third spurt (caught)

Before 18:25 WEE either while sleeping or waking. There was some squirming in her sleep (missed)

18:35 WEE fussing, winging, but her on boob, she was fine for a few minutes then upset, more fussing, offered her the potty. After a few minutes she wee’d (caught)

18:57 WEE fussing, winging, crying, put her on the boob, didn’t make her happy, she was making her body go stiff, tensing all her muscles and then she wee’d (missed)

Sometime before 20:30 and after 19:00 WEE while she was asleep. There was some fussing while she slept, searching for boob, but she always got back on the boob and fed happily so I didn’t notice when it happened (missed)

20:45 POO she was lying on me, suddenly did a wet sounding fart so I held her over the potty (caught)

between 21:15 and 22:00 WEE while in the wrap, she did squirm occasionally while sleeping in the wrap (missed)

22:01 WEE after coming out of the wrap (Dad caught)

22:54 WEE I think this one took her by surprise too, she coughed and it squirted out (missed)

Sometime between 23:00 and 23:30 WEE while she was crying (missed)

6/17 catches

11 misses

April 17 Thursday

1:39 STILL DRY. Mum went to bed too

4:something STILL DRY

7:15 WET ALREADY Woke up and she was wet, changed nappy, held her over potty, she got distressed and cried so I put another nappy on and we went back to sleep having a feed (missed)

8:20 WET ALREADY Woke up to her crying, she was hungry and very wet (missed)

8:50 WEE after squirming and falling off booba a couple of times (caught)

11:30 WET ALREADY we got up and she was wet. She had been squirming but she’d stayed asleep, or went back to sleep super fast (missed)

12:06 WEE, while we were playing, didn’t notice any cues (missed)

12:27 WEE, she had seemed tired and frustrated. Hadn’t settled into her usual calm self again after the last wee. She was showing me cues for so long that I stopped believing it was about elimination and thought she was just tired (missed)

12:30 – 13:00 WEE, while I was on the toilet and she was rocking in he bouncer. She was quiet, starting up at me (missed)

13:58 POO, after she’d woken up, caught it, offered it because she’d woken up, she seemed to be telling me something was going on, can’t remember how (caught)

14: 00 WEE, still holding her over potty, unfortunately didn’t realise she was weeing and didn’t have it lined up properly (still counts as a catch!)

14:15 WEE, she was lying down happily then winged, I thought she just wanted a cuddle and not to lie down anymore, turned out she wanted to wee (missed)

Lay her down again, kicking around, she seemed unhappy about lying down again so I picked her up (she was stiffening her legs and going bug eyed)

14:18 POO having a cuddle and she was restless, had a little wingey cry, stiffened legs, I wondered if there was more wee to come so held her over the potty (caught)

14:25 WEE We were having a lie down feed and she was coming off the breast to have a little cry, that I call a winge, I thought she was just tired, but she weed (missed)

14:35 WEE She was winging while we had a cuddle and as I was asking her what the matter was she wee’d (missed)

15:49 WEE she woke up from an hour nap, squirming, grunting a little , held her over the potty and she wee’d almost immediately (caught)

17:00 WEE, woke up happy and very relaxed, took a few minutes to wake up and then she started winging and tensing her legs (missed)

17:20 POO, had been happily feeding, getting sleepy, then she started falling off the boob and moving her legs around a lot, then she did a wet sounding fart. Held her over the potty for a few minutes and finally she pood. (caught)

Observation: common pre-elimination behaviour includes; winging, frustration, tensing muscles or “going stiff”

Before 18: 24 WEE she woke up squirming and wingy so I held over the potty (caught)

18:24 POO she hadn’t settled since her wee, squirmy, avoiding eye contact, kicking and then wingy cry so I held her over the potty (caught)

18:53 WEE tensing muscles going stiff restless then wee all over me (missed)

18:55 POO didn’t settle since the wee, more wingy crying and squirming then I heard a wet fart, held her over the potty and caught a poo (caught)

19:04 WEE. Crying, squirming I thought she was tired or hungry so I laid her down for a feed, she cried and pulled off and weed (missed)

20:43 WEE and POO, woke herself squirming so I offered her the potty (caught)

21:06 WEE didn’t settle, cried, tensed, fussed, so I held her over the potty and she weed after a few minutes (caught)

21:08 POO didn’t settle, so I kept holding her over the potty and eventually she pood (caught)

21:17 WEE still fussing, tensing, winging and then she weed on me (missed)

21:48 WEE fussing, lots of crying and helpless little quiet squeals. More crying when I offered her the potty, but she did wee (caught)

22:10 WEE she was making herself stiff and stretching and making grunting sounds. I held her over the potty expecting poo, but caught a wee instead (caught)

23:20 WEE woke up after squirming a little bit in the wrap (caught)

15/28 catches

13 misses

April 18 Friday

00:42 WEE after coming off boob, she sounded like she was grunting and panting (missed)

00:52 WEE and fart after tensing and panting (caught)

1:07 WEE, she had been crying (caught)

5:34 STILL DRY

7:20 ALREDY WET woke to squirming. Gave her a feed and she went back to sleep but it was very squirmy sleep, so I got her up and offered her the potty (missed)

7:58 POO (small) and WEE she was kicking and cried a little (caught)

8:02 WEE general uncomfortableness, kicking, dad held her over potty (Dad caught)

8:26 WEE she never really settled after the last wee. Tensing legs, making herself stiff and grumbling, offered her the potty (caught)

10:40 ALREADY WET. Woke up, she was still asleep but squirming slightly (missed)

11:35 POO. She had been tensing and farted, offered her the potty and it too quite some time but she eventually pood after a few more farts. It was only a tiny poo so I took her away from the potty for a while, she tensed some more, cried a little, so I offered it again and this time she had a proper poo (caught)

12:05 WEE. Slight squirming on the breast, and coming off (missed)

12:19 WEE. Stretching legs, slight annoyed tone to her gurgles (caught)

12:30 WEE Slight annoyance on boob, kicking legs, so I offered her the potty (caught)

14:30 POO she woke up and I offered the potty, she pood (caught)

14:33 WEE and POO she still seemed unsettled, so I kept holding her over the potty (caught)

14:50 POO tensing, stretching legs while on the boob. I took her off and offered the potty but she cried a lot, so I put her back on the boob and she was happy feeding but tensing and kicking again so I took her off again and offered her the potty, she squealed a little squeal but did do some poo once she relaxed (caught)

16:40 WEE Slight stirring in sleep, waking slightly, but wanting booba, gave her some booba, she came off, squirming slightly, offered her the potty (caught)

16:50 WEE, making herself stiff, tensing, stretching legs, offered her the potty, she cried and squirmed but did eventually wee (caught)

18:00 WEE she woke up squirmy (caught)

18:31 WEE stayed slightly squirmy and tense, so I offered the potty again (caught)

18:43 WEE going stiff crying a little (caught)

18:50 WEE making legs tense, some grunting (caught)

19:00 WEE coming off boob, crying, tensing (Dad caught)

20:15 WEE going stiff, and squirming a little bit, very quiet winging (Dad caught)

20:48 WEE kicking legs (caught)

22:15 WEE woke up, squirming and stretching and tensing legs (Dad caught)

22:50 WEE stretching, some slight crying (caught)

23:08 WEE crying, stretching legs, tensing legs (Dad caught)

23/27 catches

Only 4 misses!

April 19 Saturday

00:10 WEE tensing legs, kicking, grunting noises (Dad caught)

5:49 STILL DRY. WEE woke to her squirming offered potty (caught)

8:53 FELT DRY but I think we probably missed a wee and slept through a squirm

9:53 ALREADY WET, I think I remember dreaming about her squirming but was too tired to wake myself up. (missed)

10:10 WEE after some squirming and a fart (caught)

10:29 WEE kicking legs, grizzling and some grunting noises (caught)

13:18 WEE after she woke up she farted, she had been occasionally squirming in her sleep, and we're fairly sure we missed a wee while she was asleep (Dad caught)

15:11 ALREADY WET woke up after a big sleep (missed)

15:22 POO two spurts and a WEE, she came off the boob, hadn’t settled since waking (caught)

15:45 WEE she had been squirming, fussing at the boob and pulling off (Dad caught)

15:55 WEE kicking, still unsettled since the last wee (caught)

16:11 WEE kicking legs, slightly unsettled, but less tense than usual (missed)

16:15 WEE tensing, crying, not interested in boob so I held her over the potty (caught)

16:34 WEE lots of crying, frustration, tensing, she was in the wrap pushing her legs down, so Dad took her out and held her over the potty and bam (caught)

11/14 caught

Only 3 misses!

Dada Read Her Cues!

On Friday I caught 2 big poos and 3 wees and when Dada got home he caught a poo after they were having a cuddle and she farted. He said he was wondering if she needed to go to the toilet because she was squirming around a lot and then when she farted he was sure. Yey for Dada getting it!

She had such a big poo that Huz said he didn't know if it would ever be safe to stop holding her over the potty. But she let us know when she'd had enough potty time by tensing her muscles, kicking and beginning to cry.

During the day she was lying on the bed happily kicking around, then she started to look concerned and whimper, I usually think this means she's had enough of kicking around and wants to be picked up for a cuddle but I discovered that this time it meant I'm going to pee (on you LOL).

Yesterday I caught three wee's, a poo, Dad caught a couple of wee's but missed a poo while she was in the ergo.

I also took her away from the potty because she was starting to cry and got her wee right down my leg and onto the kitchen floor. But I didn't even blink at it! Last week I would have been squealing, but I just said "sssss, wees" and got wet :D Happened on lino, so I was pretty happy about that!

Today I've caught two wee's and she hasn't poo'd yet...

Don't Kick Your Catches Over The Carpet!

Yesterday I went on to catch quite a few more wees, and when my partner got home he caught one too.

This morning she didnt have poo to catch, and as usual I woke up after she'd wee'd. She ended up pooing twice in the afternoon and I caught both in the potty.

The wee we've caught has all been caught after a sleep.

First one happened after some fussing during a feed, she had been grunting and pulling her knees up, then she came off, so I held her over the potty and it wasnt long before the spurt. Then she went back to feeding for a little while and she becomes restless again and I think it might be wee so I offer her the potty again and she farts, so I know a poo is coming, sure enough we catch the second poo.

We have a cuddle for a while, another short feed and some more of a cuddle, and she begins to squirm and throw her arms around jerkily and I mistake her jerky arm movements as a feeding cue and offer her the boob again and I get wee'd on.

I wonder if ECing with a boy is harder? I imagine it would be because of how far they can fire their wee away from themselves...when we miss my baby's wee it soaks into the towel she's on and sometimes down her back, not hard to clean up at all. What was hard to clean up was the potty full of bright orange runny breastfed baby poo I accidentally kicked onto the lounge room carpet!

I realise that I now run the risk of reading all her movements as elimination cues, as I once read them all as feeding cues. I really want to be able to discern between her various types of restlessness, but so far they all look the same...

Those Magical First Catches!

In the morning I wake up to a hungry squirming baby. I get up and reach for the potty which is next to the bed for convenience. I pull off her nappy to discover she has had a wee while I was still asleep, but see if she has more to do. I hold her thighs in my hands, her back and head leaning back against my chest and stomach as I sit on our bed. Nothing. She's finished her morning wee already and she is not happy about being held like this while she's hungry for booba!

We lie back down together and she feasts on me as we both drift back to sleep. Later in the morning I wake again to exactly the same situation, try again with the exact same outcome. This time we decide to start our day and get up out of bed.

Again we leave her nappy free for most of the day. When she naps in her hug-a-bub and ergo with her mum and dad we put a nappy on her.

After her nap in the ergo with her Dad I hold her over the potty again. Her nappy is dry so I'm confident she needs to wee, but I'm worried that she's stressed out by this new strange practice, she's certainly not keen on being held in the EC position. As I hold her I'm saying "Wee sssss", and to my surprise I hear drops hitting the bottom of the potty! Our first catch! It is thrilling!

Having made a catch I become more enthusiastic about the process, this ECing is fun! She then went back to a feed and a little while later I noticed a small orange stain on the towel beneath her - the famed colour of breastfed baby poo, I guess it came out with a silent fart? Anyway, I held her over the potty again, and this time I say "pooze" and make a fart sound with my lips and tounge, more commonly known as "blowing a raspberry" two or three times. And BANG! The big poo comes and I catch it!

I have a few more misses and realise that my reaction to her misses is detrimental to the process. I have a mini panic about the mess and usually say something stressful like "Oh! Oh! Oh!" It's just healthy baby poo and wee! Their wee is basically water! I don't want her associating her non-nappy elimination as something that causes drama. I challenge myself to chill out about the misses.

From now on if I notice her starting to wee or poo and the potty is not near I let her do it where she is and I calmly make "ssss" sounds or blow raspberries as she releases. I make sure to make eye contact with her as she does it and to smile.

Later in the day she has a sleep in the hug-a-bub on me, and after a couple of hours she starts to get restless, so I take her out of the wrap and she wakes. I offer her the potty but she is not interested, she is in the process of waking up and she's HUNGRY! I realise I've got to get my priorities straight. When she wakes up and makes those desperate hungry cries I should feed her rather than trying to get her to wee first.

She latches onto my breast and I put the potty between my legs beneath her. She has a fast and furious feed and then she starts to slow down, still attached, still all about the boob, but she has a poo. I had forgotten about poo, I'd been all about the "ssss" when I'd offered her the potty before. The potty is in perfect position and catches the poo while I'm still feeding her. This time her poo was just one spurt. When she comes off the boob I hold her over the potty again but she doesn't do anything.

Not long after that she's feeding again and she pees on me. I'm wondering about timing between poo and wee, and how I always wee when I go to the toilet for poo, is it similiar for her? Can I expect a wee not long after pooze? And what do I do if that is the case? It's too long between the poo and wee to keep holding her over the potty.

Later on we are lying in bed together and she's feeding. Sometimes she pulls off for no apparent reason, and until we started ECing I thought she was just struggling to attach or getting ready to vomit. She pulls off another time and when she's back on feeding she wees on the bed. This isn't unusual, most of the time when she pees on me without warning she is feeding, her Dad suggests it's because she is relaxed while feeding.

She has a sleep in the hug-a-bub on her Dad for an hour and then starts to squirm. I suggest he take her out of the wrap and try ECing for himself. He holds her over the potty and makes the wee sound, it feels like a long time that he is holding her over the potty and his legs are getting sore from squatting behind the potty on the floor, a feeling I know well by now. But she does end up weeing into the potty! Dad gets his first catch!

It's time for another feed. After the feed she lies in my arms and has a squirm and then she poos. I blow a few raspberries, lift her slightly so she doesn't get the poo on herself. I sense there's more to come so I keep doing this and sure enough she has another poo and she wees with it so I say "ssss" as well.

The night is young but we have had 5 catches and countless misses. But on the wise advice of the tribal baby website we are only counting the catches :)