The site has this to say about the author:In older books, I discovered that before the advent of disposable diapers, average toilet training ages were equivalent to that in the third world; around twelve to eighteen months, while in the West, where the vast majority of mothers put disposables on their babies from birth onwards, and never let them go bare-bottomed, the average age had crept up to almost three years old!...EC is about communicating with the child, and helping the child to become aware of her body, rather than letting her ignore her bodily functions and then need to clean up after the fact, and finally, having to "train" her to control herself, often using shame and guilt, later in childhood.
I believe this is the gentlest way of raising a child, with love, respect and dignity, and it works to form a stronger bond between parent and child.
Ela Forest is a natural parenting consultant, a rebirthing practitioner and does intuitive healing and massage using reiki, aura balancing, meditation, cleansing and Gestalt. She gives workshops on women's health and fertility and practices as a lay doula and breastfeeding consultant. She is also the mother of Sequoia.
On top of me feeling run down, I think our baby's going through a big development stage because I've noticed her being a bit more interactive lately, she's started crying a new sounding cry, like a little high pitched squeal. And she was rather fussy, lots of unexplainable crying today :( So I've lowered my expectations for our ECing progress for now and am very pleased with our three catches for the day.Regularly, I receive enthusiastic emails from parents just discovering Natural Infant Hygiene. For example, a mother may read something I've written on the Internet. Something "clicks" with her, and she writes me, interested and excited. On the first day, she has observed her infant's elimination rhythms, and already sees a signal and catches a pee! She is amazed, convinced and elated.
Then, three or four days later, she contacts me again, feeling defeated. She has missed several pees in the last few days. She is not sure she can do this, and wonders if she's bonded enough with her baby, or whether this can even work in our society. She is using diapers part-time and worries this will harm her baby and the process. Should she quit?
I am always both saddened and surprised by how many mothers think they should "get it" the very first day or week they practice Natural Infant Hygiene. Some moms do, of course. But it's rare. For most, the process is gradual and takes several weeks, or even months, similar to developing a comfortable and secure breastfeeding relationship. Some mothers also need time to learn how to use a sling in ways which baby appreciates, or how to get a good night's sleep with a little body snuggled close...
The temptation can be great to perceive in these responsive parenting practices yet another opportunity for parental stress and guilt, another place to fall short of the mark. We certainly don't need another one of those! It is important that we learn to be very gentle with ourselves as parents, as gentle as we wish to be with our babies. In the strength of this gentleness and acceptance, we can strive forward to debunk the myths and half-truths and rediscover our instinctive resources for parenting...
Remember: You do not have to be totally tuned into your baby to begin parenting responsively. You only need to be open and willing to learn. As homeschooling advocate John Holt pointed out, "We learn to do something by doing it. There is no other way".
Communication and confidence develops as an inevitable consequence of the practice of responsive parenting, rather than being a prerequisite condition. You don't need expertise to begin, just a clear and gentle willingness to try. From Being Gentle with Ourselves While Learning Natural Parenting
Rather than teaching a baby to eliminate into his or her intimate clothing and cleaning up after the fact, parents learn to listen and respond in the present moment to the baby's needs and communication. From Diaper Free!Infants are aware of elimination from birth–just observe their movements, facial expressions, and vocalizations when pooing–and often cry or give other signals to be changed. But we don't watch and listen. What if we were to do so? I have found that if we respond positively and proactively, babies will experiment, practice and learn in this regard, just as they do with other milestones such as crawling and walking.
You start by briefly whispering a watery sound such as "sssss," "pssss" or "tssss" in your baby's ear at potty time to help the child learn to associate this sound with releasing the sphincter muscles. If it's (nearly) time to go, infants can release on cue. From Potty Whisperer
This helps to establish a communication link the baby gives a sign or signal and is held out in a similar position, with the same sounds. Very quickly the baby begins to learn, and may exaggerate those signs, or may cry when he/she needs to eliminate. Likewise, the carers become more and more confident at reading those signs and responding in time to ‘catch’ the elimination. The baby learns to relax their sphincter muscles on cue, thus gaining an awareness of where the muscles are and what purpose they have, as well as an awareness of control.
As the practise progresses and the communication deepens, the carers intuition may also come into play. We can come to intuitively ‘know’ when our baby needs to eliminate and can respond accordingly. This adds a deeply satisfying element to our relationship with our babies and reminds us of the incredible energetic exchange that is taking place between carer and babe. From The Potty Shop
Natural Infant Hygiene has been described as an art, as it is a subtle dance between baby and parent. It involves constantly learning together and responding to nuances in behaviour and reinforcing them to foster stronger non-verbal communication.The timing catches are easy to get, are regular times, such as when he wakes up and after feeds or at nappy changes.
The cue is the "sss psss" sound that lets him know when to go. The position is also a cue, as is running water. Exhaling onto his head was a cue that developed later.
The signs are the largely involuntary expressions, movements and sounds he’d regularly make when he needed to go. The uncomfortably full bladder would initially prompt these signs. Later they would become signals.
The signals come later when the baby can indicate with a voluntary action that he needs to go, such as moving towards the toilet place, using sign language, and later, speech. Even at three months he occasionally signalled a need to go by looking at the bowl. From six months several times a day he'd crawl over to the pee-bowl to signal his needs. From 12 months he regularly used vocal signals.
Intuition is when you get the feeling baby needs to go, and they do! Slow for me to respond to well, comes with experience as a combination of timing and subconscious awareness of subtle behaviours I think! I call it the "Baby Radar" or say "My Potty Sense is Tingling" when I feel he needs to go. From Tribal Baby
Perfection is not the aim – communication is...
It was empowering for my confidence, knowing one more way to respond to and HELP my baby. Saving nappies is secondary to this wonderful benefit - communicating with my baby...
Just as weaning is not the aim of breastfeeding, it is the bonding, nurturing, nutrition, and protection it confers - with EC, the aim is to care for baby’s hygiene needs in the present moment – ‘now’, rather than later when it is perhaps more convenient to me...
Toilet independence is merely the result of a natural process of development and practise from birth, just as weaning is the natural result of a breastfeeding relationship. The baby does not require ‘toilet training’ as their natural awareness in nurtured through infancy and beyond. All babies have the instincts that my baby has. We can practise and encourage this awareness, ‘tuning in’ to these instincts during their early months before they fade and baby ‘learns’ to go only into their nappy by five to six months. From Tribal BabyThe Potty Whisperer No-Nos:
no punishment
no pressure
no coercion
no shaming
no competition
no showing off
no obsessing
no perfectionism
no rushing toilet learning
no attachment to time goals
no negativity
