Go Gently

Read a great article that couldn't have found me at a better time. I'm feeling worn down today and have only caught one poo and two wees and feeling a little bit down about the whole process. And then read this:

Regularly, I receive enthusiastic emails from parents just discovering Natural Infant Hygiene. For example, a mother may read something I've written on the Internet. Something "clicks" with her, and she writes me, interested and excited. On the first day, she has observed her infant's elimination rhythms, and already sees a signal and catches a pee! She is amazed, convinced and elated.

Then, three or four days later, she contacts me again, feeling defeated. She has missed several pees in the last few days. She is not sure she can do this, and wonders if she's bonded enough with her baby, or whether this can even work in our society. She is using diapers part-time and worries this will harm her baby and the process. Should she quit?

I am always both saddened and surprised by how many mothers think they should "get it" the very first day or week they practice Natural Infant Hygiene. Some moms do, of course. But it's rare. For most, the process is gradual and takes several weeks, or even months, similar to developing a comfortable and secure breastfeeding relationship. Some mothers also need time to learn how to use a sling in ways which baby appreciates, or how to get a good night's sleep with a little body snuggled close...

The temptation can be great to perceive in these responsive parenting practices yet another opportunity for parental stress and guilt, another place to fall short of the mark. We certainly don't need another one of those! It is important that we learn to be very gentle with ourselves as parents, as gentle as we wish to be with our babies. In the strength of this gentleness and acceptance, we can strive forward to debunk the myths and half-truths and rediscover our instinctive resources for parenting...

Remember: You do not have to be totally tuned into your baby to begin parenting responsively. You only need to be open and willing to learn. As homeschooling advocate John Holt pointed out, "We learn to do something by doing it. There is no other way".

Communication and confidence develops as an inevitable consequence of the practice of responsive parenting, rather than being a prerequisite condition. You don't need expertise to begin, just a clear and gentle willingness to try. From Being Gentle with Ourselves While Learning Natural Parenting

On top of me feeling run down, I think our baby's going through a big development stage because I've noticed her being a bit more interactive lately, she's started crying a new sounding cry, like a little high pitched squeal. And she was rather fussy, lots of unexplainable crying today :( So I've lowered my expectations for our ECing progress for now and am very pleased with our three catches for the day.