Q & A with R&A

I received a comment from R&A asking some questions about EC that I thought I'd answer in a post of its own rather than tacking onto the comments section of another post. This way more readers can benefit from our discussion as opposed to just those subscribed to one post :)

What did you dress your baby in? I'll have mine in August so I'm thinking we'll just do naked/loose swaddle for the first while, while we learn baby's cues. After that we could wear diapers or naked-in-sling if I can watch for cues and then remove it quickly.

We didn't begin ECing until she was 7 weeks old, in the early days we didn't feel confident adding yet another new thing to the list of skills we needed to learn, so we just had our baby in infant sized all-in-one cloth nappies. Next baby I think we will start from birth because I think it will be much easier to learn her cues then rather than later. An ECing friend of mine did begin from birth and she would have her bub nappy free on a nappy and that's how they did their early catches.

Our bub is not actually nappy free, although she has lots of nappy free time. We use cloth nappies like underwear. You can actually buy baby sized undies made especially for ECers, but we already had nappies so we didn't bother with another expense. Like you said, we have her in a nappy which we pull off when we see a cue and put back on after a catch and a wipe. But we are also having her in nappies in her slings mainly because we use them so much that we can't risk having more than one in the wash at a time. And I've noticed that our baby doesn't like to wake up to get out of her sling to do a wee, she will squirm and if we take her out of the sling to catch she wakes up very upset with us, so we let the sleepy sling one go :)

If you do decide to have your baby in nappies for underwear make sure you use cloth rather than disposable because you will notice wetness far quicker in cloth than disposable and you want your baby to be familiar with that wet feeling so she will let you know when she feels it and you can change her. This way she learns that having poo and wee in your pants isn't something normal that she has to put up with :)

While on the subject of nappies, I should mention that we no longer use all-in-one's or put covers over her bamboo and hemp clothies. The reason being that we wouldn't realise immediately if we had missed a wee or poo when she was in covers or the all-in-one's. Other than that, when buying nappies just make sure you feel they could come off and on fairly quickly. I don't know much about all the nappies there are in the world, ours have press studs on them, and the newborn ones had velcro.

As for clothing avoid jumpsuits with long legs and feet, they are too hard to get off and on for an ECer (actually, even when we weren't ECing they were bloody hard work!). Our baby mainly wears jumpsuits that have press studs at the croutch that we leave undone, although we could do them up because her cues give us enough time to undo three press studs, pull of a nappy and get her over the bowl.

The best clothing in my opinion are shirts, coupled with baby sized leg warmers and socks and booties during the cold weather. Dresses also work well. Presently we don't have a lot of EC friendly baby clothes, except for a few items the lovely April made us, so we tend to half dress bub in the stuff we do have (eg with full length jumpsuits, we put her arms in and do up the first few studs, but leave the legs dangling undone behind her back).

There are places that make baby clothes especially for ECing families. Check out these links:
http://www.theecstore.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=170
http://www.tribalbaby.org/ECClothing.html
http://www.thepottyshop.com.au/potty-bowls-clothing-and-other-items.php

And what about nighttimes? (what to wear) - did you use a bowl for nighttimes or just keep changing a dry towel?

ECing wouldn't be possible throughout the night without the family sharing a bed, but you'd probably already figured that out. During the night she is dressed exactly the same as during the day, we do still use the bowl for night time catches, but we find that she doesn't eliminate much, if at all, during the night.

We do sleep on a towel or blanket, but not because of ECing, because of my bountiful breasts which tend to soak the mattress overnight.

Sometimes I don't wake up fast enough to make a catch, but will change the nappy for her comfort. Most of the time her squirming stirs me and I wake up to find a little bub giving me signals and I make a catch with my eyes still half shut and in the morning I wonder if I dreamed it.

How did you do it while using a baby carrier? Just watch for cues and pop her out?

Yep. Our baby generally sleeps in her baby carriers though, so she doesn't often eliminate in them, and the times when she does she is usually still asleep so I don't pull her out because it's more important to me that she have a rest and be peaceful in her slings than it is to whip her out and make a catch. I learned that the hard way! I used to pull her out for the catches when she'd squirm, but she'd be so unhappy about it!

When she is awake in her carriers we watch for cues, generally they take the form of her trying to stand up, or pushing her feet against the carrier. And then we'd pull her out, hold her over the catching bowl, make a catch and then pop her back in her carrier.

Am I thinking along the right lines?

You sure are. As long as you are thinking "I am going to listen to my baby and try to understand what she is telling me" you are thinking along the right lines (not just for ECing!). Don't get caught up in counting the misses, go by the motto "communication is the goal, not perfection". Misses are successes too because they help you become that little bit more familiar with your bub - I found so many times I'd miss a wee or poo and realise that I had been wondering if she was about to eliminate just before she did! So even though technically those were misses, they were also successes.

Don't beat yourself up if you are feeling like you struggle to understand your baby, it doesn't mean you are less of a mother, and every mother feels that way at some point. Remember that communication is a never ending process, some days you will be better at it than others and the same goes for your bub.

You will have days where you feel inspired and ECing is lots of fun, but you will also have low energy days when you'll think yourself mad for not going the mainstream route. On those days come here and re-read, and check out the websites linked to the right, and they will help re-motivate you. I found that on the one day when I thought about giving up reading the tribal baby website was all I needed to pick myself up.

All these answers are specific to my family, what suits us and our baby's persoanlity. You will find all the practicalities will sort themselves out to fit into what is best for you and your family. ECing really is simply a matter of knowing and listening your bub :)